Let me quickly introduce myself-- my name is Cindy (pictured left), I am 25, I live in Los Angeles, and I am in a line of work that goes after Big Oil. Yes, I am being vague.
My girlfriend-- who is the subject of this blog-- is "Grace," 29, works in the toy industry, is one of the smartest people I know, is infinitely fascinating, and... is an aspie. Grace is well aware of this blog; she has given me her blessing and support.
A great fault of mine is that I have amazing (though admittedly selective) memory. Unfortunately, this generally applies to offbeat experiences and exchanges. In other words, if an experience is incongruous to an expected social script, I will obsess over it forever. Remember that time you asked me for a cigarette without saying "Hi" first? Yeah, that was rude. I am going to obsess over it for the next six months now, mulling over every single detail of the exchange, fabricating thousands of scenarios in an attempt to make sense of whatever transpired.
This compulsion has benefited me in slowly realizing Grace's disorder*. She was always such a mystery to me (or just a hipster) until I suspected that she had Asperger's Syndrome, about eight months into our relationship. And suddenly it felt like a really bad gimmick in a really trite movie-- suddenly all the bizarre behavior and exchanges made perfect sense, suddenly you breathe a knowing and assured sigh, suddenly you forgive her for all of her misperceived wrongdoings.
(I will attempt to stay very true to the timeline of events thanks to googlechat and flickr logs.)
*Disorder is such a dirty word. Let's divorce it from all of its negative connotations. I mean no insult.
I agree Cindy, "disorder" doesn't suit the Asperger end of ASD. Having worked with ASD high functioning individuals for over 7 years, I have come to realize that Asperger's is its own spectrum within a spectrum. I tell people all the time, "Asperger's isn't a disability, it's a gift." I also tell folks, "Asperger's are normal people, with Asperger's thrown in." Meaning, I have yet to find any two Aspies alike, except for a few traits common to most, one of which is what you affectionately call the "beautiful blank stare."
ReplyDeleteThanks for your eloquent blog Cindy, when you're done chasing Big Oil, write, you have the gift. :~)
Thank you for your support and encouragement! It means a lot to me... I wasn't sure if anyone was reading. :X
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